Uncertainty's a bitch, aint it?

I don't know why but I'm wondering how bad my results will be for Chemistry. I am imagining a U grade there. This sucks seriously. This really means I can't go Uni at all, according to someone. All local UNIs requires you to have at least a contrasting H1 pass. Darn it! But not to worry, I have my back up plans. Hopefully god would be kind enough to at least promise me a stable career after A's. Either that, I will dig money somewhere and go to an overseas uni or a private uni. Yes. I hate decision making. I mean, I used to be so good at it but I think as years go by, my skills kind of wore of I guess?

On another hand, I need to get my head back into studying mode soon. Can I have a loyal study partner please? Anyone?

Euphoria

So yes, Bintan's over and I still have post vacation blues. Really. I think I really miss the most is room service and the late night cravings of fried kway teow Indonesian style. Right, the trip was indeed tiring, physically and mentally. I don't know why but it really seems like we in Oprah's Big Give when we were given 100 000 rupiah to spend on gifts for every kid. That's equivalent to 17 dollars sing. So can you imagine, the stress to keep up with the budget and at the same time, getting something worth the money?

Other than that, construction work was everyone's favourite. My group was unlucky coz we had to work under construction two days straight, so it was pretty tiring. The best part was, they have a well in their school so we had how to draw water from the well tutorial. Something we don't usually get to learn from textbooks.

The last night was another stressful night where we were told to plan for the campfire last minute. Me being me would want things to be really perfect and no cock ups, so I kinda get my emotions in the way?

Well, nonetheless, everything went pretty smooth and the Bonfire was a success. The kids really had one memorable night and most broke down as we had to leave for Singapore the next day. I didn't get really emotional until the next day when we revisited them again and some of them wrote me a letter and gave me their favorite things in exchange for the gifts we gave them.

I was really touched by those kids. I miss them already, shucks.

All I need is a lil bit of hope and faith.

Right, time check, its already midnight and I'm still awake. Well the truth is yes I'm excited but at the same time I'm afraid of what's in store. Moreover, I am so scared that the performance would turn out crappy. We haven't practiced anything at all and it looks like everyone's not into it. I mean I really don't blame them really. But, I feel that I've failed as one of the people in charge. Those who know me, would know that I always want the best and would want to put up something ambitious. And when I do it, I give my all. Truth be told, whenever I plan things, I always thought that things would go as plan, as what I visioned it to be. Being the stubborn me, would always brush off the what if(s). All I can say is that, I really hope everyone would give me their support and just give me their 101 percent. I really want to be there and entertain the kids and have the time of my life. Seeing them just saddens me and if my performance don't make it, I say, might as well I just stay here for the sake of the group.

It would be six days. This is my first time going off somewhere for more than three days. On my side, things did not went well. I got into a feud with my mum. I know, like I would want that to happen just before I got off. She said a few things that really hurt me and made me reflect on myself.

Ah wells, maybe I am just thinking too much about it, really. There are a whole lot of other things that is much more important than the performance right? Before I go, I would like to thank Khuzaifah whom have helped me find glass bottles and what not. Zul, Satheesh and XingMei for helping me with the song.

Oh, a few hours ago, I got a text from Bestfriend. How sweet of her right? Zue, I'll miss you so much and thank you for the real sweet text I'll keep that in mind.

To Syaz and Wani, I'll miss you guys. Take care, I'll give u guys a ring before I depart.

So long guys, I'll come back soon.

How to read palm?

We've come a long way haven't we?

Dear all, I love you to bits and pieces. We've been friends since secondary school and I believe we have come a long way. Through shits and all the drama, I guess we still stick together despite rain or shine. I know each and everyone of us have our own flaws and weaknesses, different taste in music or whatsoever, it's our faith that keep us together.
If we all still believe and trust each other, I say, we can go a long way.
I love you sevens, always have, always will. This year is our 5th anniversary right?
Yeah whatever how many years it may be. I'm proud we're still going on strong.

I can't wait till 2009 is over.

November's been kinda hectic. Handball's over and I must say it was quite an experience. Well, even though we did not win anything, I believe there's more to it than just winning. I am not so sure if I would still continue the sport because, Handball's not easy as it looks. It does take skills and stamina to be really good in it. I mean, other sports too but in Handball if your shots are real weak, the game's a no-no for you.

I'm leaving for Bintan in three more days. After Bintan, training for my upcoming malay drama competition will start. You see, I don't really have a life do I? After which, 2010 comes and there goes my life. I seriously have to focus on A's and really stop taking chances. I really hope after March I can fully concentrate on A's and just get it done and over with.

I can't believe I'm going to be in Year 3 already. Time passes so quickly doesn't it?

Sidetrack, mum just gave me rupiah money for the trip. For the first time, I'm having a few thousands in my wallet. Well, its 70 0000 rupiah. HAHA

I was glad that the last day's free and easy. I'm so going to take the opportunity to shop if I see anything cheap and good over at Bintan.

Meanwhile, I now need to go catch up on Gossip Girl. It's been a while since I last watch and I know I am like way behind.

Chow!

Cranky

There are a few things that I would like to say in this post. But I'm afraid that the things that I am going to say are going to make people feel offended and hurt. Thus, I shall just keep it to myself. All I can say is that, I am just so annoyed with a few people around me. I just cannot keep on going and put up a fake front no more. Maybe it's time, I be selfish.

Fuck you and you.

Yes you.